’Tis the season for warm drinks, cozy sweaters, holiday songs, peppermint flavored treats and celebrating the birth of Christ. It’s also the season of being stressed out with finals, finding gifts for family/friends and anticipating maybe awkward or hard family gatherings/expectations. Maybe this is the best time of year for you or maybe it’s the worse. Maybe you are stoked about spending time with family and friends or maybe you are dreading being alone. Wherever you are at, this season has ALOT going on. And I for one know how easy it is to be caught up in the hectic nature of December and watch as Christmas just flies by. Afterwards, I usually wish I spent more time in my bible or had more patience during Christmas dinner with family or just wish I was more intentional. Thus when New Years rolls around, I resolve to do better, be better. 

As I mused for this Monday Musing, I thought a lot about Psalm 81 and my past. I prayed, “Why then, even though I know about the gospel of Jesus, can I feel so distant from you Lord? Why can I feel empty, tired, and hungry for more? Why can I feel so up and down? Why can’t I just be a perfect Christian? Lord, It’s hard to cope with these feelings after the many amazing messages, talks, and blessings you have provided on my journey with you. Even though I can feel so close to you now, I fear the next “season” of distance. Am I doing something wrong? Am I good enough?

Lord God, what the heck do I do?”

This weekend, I am remembering my first time at Crossroads, as students all over the state head down to Southern California for this annual conference. If you are unfamiliar with Crossroads, it is a chance for students to hear from speakers and learn how to navigate post-college life in a way that glorifies God.

Let’s throw it back to senior year of high school:

I had just gotten home from the first day of high school swimming championships. It was after midnight and I was exhausted. I had finished an AP test that morning, and had another one in 8 hours. I was starving, caked in chlorine, and ready to hibernate. Wanting to get to bed ASAP, I did what any other rational person would do: grabbed 2 frozen Eggo waffles and jumped in the shower with them (no no I didn’t let them get wet, what kind of caveperson do you think I am??)

3 minutes later I was in bed. That, my friends, was what I considered the peak of efficient behavior, and I was crushing it.

The Republic of Georgia 7:00 am

I knew this was going to be a long day as my stomach began to growl. The house was quiet, and I knew my team was still asleep. It was snowing outside, and we couldn’t leave without an escort, I knew that this day was going to be different.