As I began writing this Monday Musing, I was at a loss for words. My mind was blank. I wrote about five intro paragraphs for different topics, but couldn't properly expand on any of them. But all the while, I knew that I could go on for hours (just ask my roommates) about the dissolution of Yugoslavia, the history of the Soviet Union, Brooklyn 99, Gilmore Girls, the concept of relativism, its cousin postmodernism, and a shocking amount of other seemingly useless topics, but for some reason, I couldn't seem to come up with anything pertaining to what I’ve been learning about God recently.

This past weekend I was in the beautiful area of San Luis Obispo — particularly Avila Beach — for my cousin’s wedding (shoutout to #teamGrillo). I mean it was absolutely gorgeous, the venue was outside on a luscious golf course meadow adjacent to the beach, with a large pound created by the inflow of the sea water separating the two. Not to mention the sun-kissed weather in the afternoon and the light brisk breeze in the evening with a lovely high of 72℉. As my cousin walked down the aisle to meet the love of her life, it seemed as if time itself was in attendance, attentively watching the moment gracefully take the spotlight. The powerful moment I want to rest in for this Musing is the exchanging of the vows. The wedding vows are the most ancient when it comes to a traditional marriage ceremony. It is the public declaration that you are making the deepest, longest and most important covenant that can be made between a man and a woman.

Now before all the single people close this tab, let me say this is not a post about the one you may never find (nevertheless keep hope alive). This article is about the most fulfilling, satisficing, truthful, intimate, respectful, passionate, affectionate, secure, consistent and nurturing relationship one could even fathom of having. A relationship with Love Himself (1 Jhn 4:8)

(What Surrender Isn’t)

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25

The older I get, the more I have learned that I am a strange mix of obedient and defiant. There is a rule-follower in me, someone who refuses to “California roll” through stop signs on principle. But there’s also a side of me that wants to join the rebel alliance, who shakes my fist at “the man,” who spent every Simon Says as a child trying to beat Simon at his own game and look for loopholes.

This Monday Musing was originally written as a talk for one of Cru’s weekly meetings.  

When asked to articulate my ethnic journey, I was initially nervous because to discuss my ethnicity with other people is to admit that my ethnicity is something different from the norm, something that separates me from others. Not only do I feel unqualified to bring about such discourse, but I also feel that no one can truly grapple with such a complex and dynamic process. However, I do understand that I have a journey—just like everyone reading this—and this journey matters. Thus, I decided to go for it.

’Tis the season for warm drinks, cozy sweaters, holiday songs, peppermint flavored treats and celebrating the birth of Christ. It’s also the season of being stressed out with finals, finding gifts for family/friends and anticipating maybe awkward or hard family gatherings/expectations. Maybe this is the best time of year for you or maybe it’s the worse. Maybe you are stoked about spending time with family and friends or maybe you are dreading being alone. Wherever you are at, this season has ALOT going on. And I for one know how easy it is to be caught up in the hectic nature of December and watch as Christmas just flies by. Afterwards, I usually wish I spent more time in my bible or had more patience during Christmas dinner with family or just wish I was more intentional. Thus when New Years rolls around, I resolve to do better, be better.